How To Fight Self-Destructive Thoughts And Get Your Groove Back, Girl

How To Fight Self-Destructive Thoughts And Get Your Groove Back, Girl

In this modern social media age, where our phones act as our eyes and our headphones our ears, we are confronted with images of *perfection* on a daily basis. We put ourselves through a broken mirror of self-reflective evaluation where we compare and contrast our own lives to the lives of the ig influencers– the optimistic, ethereal beauties whose perceived problems consist of what couture outfit to wear on their all-inclusive luxury beach vacation. Scrolling through your instagram feed can become a thankless cycle of cooing over aspirational women, wallowing in self-doubt, recharging with motivational quotes and falling asleep with social envy. Then we wake up and repeat.

And it’s not just social media that can get you down on yourself. Maybe your personal relationships aren’t where you thought they’d be when you dreamt of adulthood as a doe-eyed teenager; maybe you suffer from imposter syndrome (*a distortion of thinking that makes smart and capable people feel as though they are incompetent, lazy or unintelligent and that one day they will be exposed as fraudulent*) and can’t shake your everyday anxiety. You’ve probably been told a thousand times before that this negative energy is all in your head, and you probably know that that’s true, but it doesn’t make it better, does it?

How To Fight Self-Destructive Thoughts And Get Your Groove Back Girl

Unlike the often inauthentic self-help blurbs you might find when looking to increase your positivity, (you know, the ones that tell you to just breathe and it will all be okay) I can tell you from a completely personal perspective how I manage the self-destructive thoughts I have experienced in droves for the better part of my adult life: Cannabis, The Yas Queen Checklist, and a good night’s sleep.

The pressures we face on a daily basis– especially as women– to be smart, funny, beautiful, creative, capable, energetic, kind, helpful, innovative, generous, spontaneous, respectable, gentle and whatever other qualities we are expected to have, can be overwhelming. Even typing out that short list gave me a minor panic attack. This is where The Yas Queen Checklist comes in.

The Yas Queen Checklist


This is gonna start on a tangent but bear with me. Back in 2014 when the HBO show Broad City first aired, my inbox was flooded with messages from friends and coworkers telling me that I needed to watch this show because there was a character on it who was literally me. Low and behold, I watched the series premiere and was confronted for the first time with Ilana Wexler: A true icon of girl power, cannabis de-stigmatization and social awareness. She looked like me, talked like me, and believed in everything I believed in. I saw myself being represented on television for what I can honestly say was the first time.

One of the many ways Ilana inspired me was by her constant positive energy and self-love. With nothing but a vintage cropped t-shirt and a pair of *unwashed* leggings on, curly hair askew and attitude unbothered, Ilana saw herself as a total queen and never let anyone make her feel otherwise. This is how I got inspired to make The Yas Queen Checklist.


Every day, before I go to sleep, I tell myself 3 things that I totally nailed that day. They can be big achievements (like finishing an article on fighting self-destructive behaviour on a deadline considering I could talk about self-destructive behaviour for a week straight), or little wins like remembering to actually floss twice a day or wearing the right shoes that won’t give me blisters when I walk through the city.


The reason I do this before bed is because it helps me end the day on a positive note, which comes in handy when the day totally sucked. By taking a moment to appreciate myself, I can fall asleep feeling proud of who I am and what I have accomplished as opposed to stressing over everything that went wrong and all of the ways I could have been better.


CBD for my CBDreams


The Yas Queen Checklist is only half of my positive-thought equation; the other half is something you’ve probably heard time and time again but it has never not been true: Get a good night’s sleep, girl. With the world moving a mile a minute, getting a solid 6-8 hours of sleep each night is more important now than ever. I know for me personally that if I do not get my beauty rest, I will bite your head off tomorrow (I’m looking at you, Robert from HR). In order to get the rest I require, I turn to natural remedies like calming CBD oils or relaxing Indica blends to balance my body and mind and lull me to sleep.


When it comes to self-medicating, you probably don’t want to get caught in a sleeping pill dependency because the side effects can be hard to swallow (pun definitely intended). I find that plant-based alternative medicine is typically a safer bet if it is something you intend on taking for the long haul. I like the feelCBD sleep pen because it does as advertised and it has a nice, minty fresh taste that doesn’t conflict with your recently brushed (and flossed 😉 ) teeth. If I want a more psychedelic “high” effect then I will use a Girl Scout Cookie Indica blend cartridge in my Vessel Luxury Vape Pen (which I’d be remiss to not tell you is only $99.98 right now).

How To Fight Self-Destructive Thoughts And Get Your Groove Back, Girl

Introducing positive self-love and plant-based relaxants like CBD to your day are two super easy ways to get your groove back (or to just get a groove if you feel you never had one to begin with). I am by no means perfect, nor have I got the recipe for the secret sauce of life, but these tactics have helped me become a much more optimistic and much less anxious person. I hope they will help you, too.

Share in the comments what you do to fight self-destructive thoughts and we can all learn from each other and grow together!

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