Breakups are hard – even in the best of times. Throw in a pandemic and government mandated self-isolation, and the feeling of loneliness followed by a relationship ending is amplified. Like, are the words “FOREVER ALONE” actually tattooed across my forehead!? Because it sure feels that way.
Traditional methods of time and support that aid in mending a broken heart are just not possible during these unpredictable times. Healing can feel like a daunting task that all the Pinterest quotes and ice cream in the world won’t fix.
Right after Canada flipped upside down and isolation became the new norm, I was hit in the face with a bag of bricks labeled as a breakup that I didn’t see coming. All around me my friends and family members quickly retreated into their homes with their partners and loved ones.
While I desperately wanted to get closer, my significant other wanted to be alone, and we broke up. After we said our goodbyes, I sat there confused, defeated and honestly scared, thinking “this is it, down the hole I go”.
For years I have suffered from anxiety and depression, spending countless hours in therapy doing self-work. Plagued with tendencies to overthink and catastrophize, I feared I would fall back into the old patterns I worked so hard to fight my way out of.
A life-altering event like a breakup coupled with a world in chaos is a double whammy. However, weeks went by and I never went down that hole. Something was different. I gave myself permission to grieve while looking after my own needs, and THAT is crucial for healing.
Taking CBD has become one of the ways I look after these needs, and is now a necessary step in my journey with mental health as a way to combat my anxieties. A Daily dose of CBD goes best with something I call the “Four R’s”:
Emotions are real. They can be painful and intense or dull and vacant. Being able to recognize that what you are feeling is valid gives you the space to understand that something you wanted is now not being met so of course you are going to feel sadness. And, while emotions are real they are also temporary.
A good friend once said to me “an idle mind is the Devil’s playground” and damn is she right. Although it may feel impossible to peel yourself out of bed some days, developing a small morning routine – especially during a time where the days seem to all mold into one – can make or break your mental state. Get up, have that slow morning coffee with breakfast, change out of those sweatpants into something that makes you feel good and immerse yourself into your “to do” list, no matter how big or small that list may be (this has been a life saver for me).
Losing yourself in a partner is common. And, when that bond is broken it’s easy to feel disconnected from who you are. Don’t start beating yourself up about never finishing cleaning out your closet or that you haven’t worked out in months. Instead, get going with something small that develops your sense of self again. Journaling and meditation is a great way to do this. If self-reflection isn’t your thing and you can’t imagine sitting still for more than 5 minutes, try throwing on some music and get your body moving. Not only does dancing release feel-good endorphins but it can help you reconnect with your body again. I highly recommend Only You by Steve Monite for some great 80s vibes.
Just like having a morning routine, creating a time at end of the day for a little TLC is just as important. Light some candles, roll on some luscious Nectar Face Oil, run a hot bath, toss in a CBD Bath Bomb and, at the risk of sounding overly Hallmark-y, fall in love with yourself again.
With the loom of economic uncertainty and isolation, my breakup was the cherry on top of a sundae left out in the sun. It sucked. But I made the personal choice to use this moment as an opportunity to refocus on my needs and emerge out of the depths of my apartment with a newfound sense of self-love, self-care and independence. So hop on virtual Happy Hour with the gals, and remind yourself that you have the inner strength to get through anything - even Covid-19.